Recently, I’ve heard people say they are a bad Christian or that maybe some Muslims are Bad Muslims because they have decided to pick and choose which parts of their Quran they wish to subscribe to and then toss out the rest. Some Christians I guess have done the same thing with the Bible.
Being that Druidry has no book per se like that, why would I say I am a bad Druid? I guess that would be how I might see Druids in my head, how they should be. But were they really like that as so many are today? Back in the time of the Celts, the Druids, their priests stood on the shore and waved their hands and arms and did their magic to defend and send whatever ills towards their enemies. I see Druids now as being the peacemakers. The ones who are gentle and kind and those who always turn the other cheek. I see them as loving the Earth and their fellow man no matter if that man is set to destroy or harm them. Maybe that’s where my vision is slightly flawed.
Saying all that however, I think there are all different kinds of Druids. Certainly we have the Bards and Ovates and Druids themselves if you break it down, the minstrels, the healers, the diviners, the philosophers, the priests. I remember in the prior order they talked of the Red Branch and different types or groups. I don’t know about all of that really.
But one thing I have learned is that no one else gets to define you. No one can stand there and proclaim or gift you with what you are. Just like I didn’t need a piece of paper from the prior order to tell me or to announce that I am a Bard. I knew it already. I knew I am a Bard. It was already there in my heart, thru the natural gifts I had learned and certainly delved into over the years and years of writing. Just the poetry alone spoke that loud and clear to me.
So did I need someone to say, yes, you are an Ovate? No. Many people have seen my interests and how I often have engaged with the spirits of the deceased, attempted communication and given tribute, divined and healed as an Ovate. It was a natural instinct.
The same goes for Druid. To look at one person in thinking you need their approval or for it to come from their lips to say yes you are what you are, can be silly. Can be. I get it and understand, when you have respect for someone and you want to be acknowledged by your peers and mentors as having learned and paid your dues to say yes, oh yes now, THIS is what you are. You have attained it. Achieved it. Come far enough or walked down long enough upon this path and now, yes now, this is who you are. Stand and be recognized as such.
Yet, to have that, really doesn’t mean anything if you don’t feel that in your heart. I often remind myself, yes, I did it! I made it! I am a Druid. Tho’ I am still working through the Druid course and have not finished that yet, taking my jolly good time with it too. So I have to ask myself, do I feel like a Druid in my heart?
It’s not an easy question these days. I worry I have idolized the Druid perhaps or being too hard on myself cause I still get mad, I still lose my temper, I still get hurt and feel. Of course, that is all part of being human. It does not mean I am not a Druid. I have that keen sense of justice and I think that is what frustrated me so badly today, dealing with someone who seems to have been lost by greed, so much so, they are stepping on others’ toes. And it just killed me. And yes, I am going to do all I can to try to make sure this does not happen for it isn’t right and it isn’t fair. It may not be up to me, but I will try and I will speak up for those who do not even know that their way, their work, is being threatened or infringed upon I should say.
Druids are also peacemakers and to me, they stand up for what is right, no matter the cost. I see a lot of injustice and I know I can’t fix the world. I can send loving energy and healing out to all those in need but I am not in a position to do much more. What I can do however, is affect lives, help others here. Right here in my own backyard. People I work with, people I come into contact with. Fight for the trees and help them, teach others to help them too and not allow them to die only to replace them with more that will just die too instead of trying to stop that cycle of neglect.
So perhaps, I am not a perfect Druid. Heck, I am not a perfect human either, but that’s part of what being human is, not being perfect. I am learning however with each day that goes by, each gwers I finish, each wave of understanding. I think why I also feel the way I do at times is because of my views on the world, they are often at war with each other. I like to think that’s a good thing, to always question, to always ask and to always learn. To strive towards not perfectionism, but for love. To strive for understanding and acceptance and tolerance. Embracing others and the differences between us.
And I think we also need to embrace ourselves. To accept ourselves and truly see not only the dark side, but the light. So many times we focus on the dark part of ourselves, the shadow side, we often forget of the light. To rejoice in that and celebrate it. Give yourself credit for the love in your heart and that which you give and also, that which you receive. To not only criticize or pick yourself apart, self analysis or whatever, but we need to also be kind to ourselves and note the good things as well about ourselves. To see ourselves as we would a best friend. Be gracious and gentle and kind to our own souls and our own hearts.
I had a friend call me today. To check on me because he heard of the winter storms that barreled up our way here in the northeast. He wasn’t sure if I was in the path of this snow and blizzard conditions and wanted to be sure I was ok. It was the only call that I got today from a friend to check up on me. Granted, many are online and could see that I was ok. But it was nice of this one to do so. Touched my heart. Such caring, thoughtfulness, gives me hope. Hope and faith that people really are better than most think. Even if that is a fantasy and they are not, it was nice to feel that warmth and feel the smile on my face at the thoughtfulness of a true friend.
The world could use more people like that.
So am I a bad Druid? No, I don’t believe I am.
Am I a Druid?
Yes. I am.